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Rules for Adult Friends who conduct off site swinging or adult play dates.
Off-site could be anything from meeting a person in a car for sex to a motel for play. Just because you use friend finders or any other service, you need to set some ground rules for yourself ahead of meeting any person. Be sure to read the rules for Swingers too. In reality, there are no rules set by any of the companies that offer adult friends for play dates. However, feedback from those practicing this lifestyle indicate that there are guidelines that they accept as knowledge of those playing. So be sure to take these rules or guidelines into consideration.
#1
Meet in a safe place for the first time. This applies
to both men and
women. Many people enjoy going to swing clubs for adult play since it is
highly unlikely someone is going to try to harm you with so many people
around, but anything is always possible. So, first and foremost be
safe. When selecting a location, make sure of your
surroundings. Safety also includes being very private and discreet.
The numbers of swingers has increased to many millions but they still want
to keep their sexual play very private so respect it. If you see
someone in a public place with whom you have joined in adult play,
unless you have a prior understanding, don't acknowledge them. They
may be with someone who doesn't know their lifestyle or perhaps they are
married. Just
mind your own business. What you do behind closed doors is one thing
so be sure to respect the other person's privacy.
#2. Meet in a public place, perhaps a casino where there are so many security cameras. Not too many people want to meet you in a place to harm you knowing this. Remember also, if they get a room, information must be provided and kept on file. It could be bogus, but chances are not as likely. It would be better for a woman to go to the man’s room for intimate contact over the man going to the woman's motel room. We're stereotyping here that the man causes harm, but in general for the purpose of this website information, we used this scenario. Where ever there is more security and security cameras, it is probably safer for you for the first meeting. #3. We found that most everyone agrees to never meet the person at your house for the first time or even the first few times!. If the want to end the intimate contact if they don’t know your address where you live it is better for you and your family. #4. Never give out personal information. Don’t tell the person what you do or where you work. You are there for sex not to make the person a friend of the family. #5. If you have to be discreet because you are married and your partner doesn't know about your lifestyle, then make sure that the person you are meeting knows this. You are meeting without your partner's knowledge and consent. The reason is simple. You never know what your partner will do if they find out what you are doing. #6 Use appropriate birth control protection, the more the better! In other words, it is better to have protection. Better yet, get fixed! If not, bring condoms for some protection. Don't use this lifestyle to try to get pregnant! It is not fair to your sexual partner. Adult sexual play is not for that purpose. Don't bring children into the world without two parents! If there is any chance of an unwanted pregnancy, use birth control or get fixed. You will enjoy the sexual experience more if you don't have to worry about pregnancy. #7. Tell the person in your personal ad what you want to do sexually. If you want to give oral, say it. If you want to get oral, say it. If you want intercourse, say it. Tell the person before meeting. In other words, express your desires so that you will both enjoy the experience. If they aren't interested, then they wouldn't enjoy it anyway. So be sure to express yourself! If you want to experience the sex bareback, [without condoms], then don't be afraid to ask up front if they are STD safe or has been HIV tested. They can always give blood which is free and they can get tested. If you have an STD, then you should never have sex with anyone without a full disclosure. #8 If you are meeting a couple find out if there is any expectation of bi-sex. If you have done it before you must be open enough to tell the person you have. If you don’t want to try it, you should also tell the person you are not interested in bi but you might be open to a threesome or taking turns. Just communicate! Adult intimate friends are about enjoyment of sex. #9. We were surprised how many people wanted to take videos and pictures of their encounters. However, there are a lot who don’t want any because of the need to be discreet. Again communicate what you desire before the meeting. #10 Talking Dirty. Some adult friends have different needs and desires. If you would like to express yourself by talking dirty during sex, then make sure the person you are meeting wants it too. Some women like being called names and others get turned off by it. Again, communicate your desires before the first meeting takes place. #11 Be honest about your looks! And, men, your penis size. If a woman is a size 18, don’t try to claim you are a size 10. There are many men who love large ladies. What is someone else's turn off is someone else's turn on. There are 4.5 million active members on AFF and we are certain there is a person with your same sexual desires. #12. Oral sex with a man. Many men feel disappointed if a woman does not swallow. So ask what they like! If you are not up to it, then tell them so they won't be anticipating it. Being disappointed is not what this is about. . #13. Backdoor sex. This is not something for everyone. So find out before you meet what he or she is agreeable to. Some like getting spanked and again, to others that is a huge turn off. #14 CAR SEX. Yes, it happens more than you know! Car sex is very popular and probably illegal in most states even if it is in a parking lot. Some states consider it having sex in public. If you enjoy doing it then find a safe place. Most of the time it is limited to oral sex but we have been told by the many we interviewed, that they end up having intercourse. Most women like a place where there are a lot of cars. They feel safer and the men normally release themselves much faster due to the excitement of it all. Women report that the average time for a BJ’s is usually ten minutes with most only lasting a few. #15 Adult video book stores. In most states, it is illegal to have sex inside one or to have glory holes in video booths. But many people have reported they have done it a lot. Just remember you don’t know anything about the person on the other side and the only safe form of sex would probably be hand jobs. But most told us they have given and received a lot of oral. #16 EMAIL DATE FIRST!!! Before you ever meet a person for a one on one or couple sex or even couple meeting other couples, exchange e-mail several times first. Make sure everyone has the same sexual interest. Perhaps you want to cyber sex or have phone sex. By doing these first you can learn if this person is compatible with your sexual desires and passion. #17. ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH. We found during our interview with swingers, after having their first encounter, they want to continue to have more. Some of the women have had more than 200 men. The men who meet new partners or couples, or the ones who are being discreet, usually do not have as many partners as the woman does. #18 Don’t confuse Hot Sex with love. There is a big difference between hot sex and love. Most women and men who have a new sexual partner rate the sex they are having as hotter than their regular partner. Probably this is due to the rush of being with someone new or doing something that must be kept secret.. If you find yourself falling for someone, stop having sex with that person! Although sex is a big part of how we love, when it comes to swinging it is NOT that at all. #19. What to expect. Of course, SEX! Swingers are people! Don't expect anyone to look any different than the normal person. It is a lifestyle choice. There are men and women from all walks of life, all shapes and sizes. What it comes down to is that they all enjoy having sexual pleasure! Swingers enjoy this kind of lifestyle. For those of you who want to experiment, these guidelines are here to help you so that you can enjoy yourself to the fullest. All we can say about adult swinging play dates is that for so many this is a private lifestyle they enjoy. All we have to say is that we all are created differently and have different desires and passion. Join for free and meet local singles for dating, romance, fun, and more.
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